First World Problems

Dear @FirstWorldProblems, 

This tale is wholly inspired by your #FirstWorldProblem Tweets though they do not necessarily my personal attitudes in life.  

I set my iPhone alarm to play my favorite song at 6:30am every weekday and now I hate my favorite song. The opening riff makes me cringe. So I hit snooze half a dozen times. I finally sit up to check my social media accounts and I have zero new notifications on Twitter or Facebook. Ugh, no one thought my Tweet about the Bachelor was funny enough to reTweet.

I’m ten minutes behind schedule when I turn on my shower that takes five minutes to get warm. I can’t decide which of my three shampoos to use. I settle on ‘daily moisture’ because it seems like a safest option.  But did I condition yesterday? You don’t want to over condition.

I make a cup of coffee and get in the car to go to work. After 15 minutes of the usual traffic my coffee is still too hot to drink. Now I’m twenty minutes late. Traffic’s not an excuse when it happens every day.

A full inbox of emails waits for me at my desk and I “get to work”. My chair isn’t ergonomic so I get a stiff back and the office is too cold. I enviously look out the window at the landscaping crew and who get to work outside in sunshine. Except its so hot out there. By the end of the day my eyes burn from starting at my computer screen and I’m exhausted although I hardly moved all day. I hate my job because I don’t do anything but I can’t quit because I get paid to do nothing.

There are so many restaurants on my way home that I can’t decide what to eat for dinner. I just go home and grill a steak for the third day in a row. I’m getting really tired of steak. After dinner my internet is running too slow to watch the new season of House of Cards on Netflix so I have to watch regular TV. Some documentary about genocide in Africa is on. Wow those people have real problems. They don’t even have iPhones to map their evacuation. That bums me out so I go to bed.

6:30am: God I hate that song.